My Struggle: A Turning Point Encounter

I was a teacher in a school at a time when my resourcefulness, thoroughness and integrity were greatly admired by many people including teachers and students. However, I had to struggle with something that I could not exactly place my finger on before the incident I am about to recount. In communicating wrongs done by other people, I would make points with hurtful words, and express my emotions in ways that I almost always mismanaged.

One day, a teacher offended me in the staff room and I gave my usually reaction. I have forgotten completely the details of the teacher’s offence because it happened many years ago. My friend, Fanny, quietly observed my struggle with communicating with this teacher and simply walked away to teach a class. By the time she returned to the staffroom, the atmosphere had normalised.

Fanny beckoned on me to come over for a discussion. She asked me what happened between me and the teacher. I explained in great detail how the teacher’s behaviour got me angry. It was possible I was also struggling to get Fanny to appreciate how big the offence of that teacher was in order to justify how badly I emotional harassed her. I can’t even remember whether the teacher was male or female. Fanny was resolute in her decision to deliver her admonition to me. She calmly gave me her words.

Fanny incisively explained that she was not in doubt as to whether the teacher offended me. She said that as long as I related with other people, they would offend me sometimes, but what made the difference was how I responded to each offence. She lovingly corrected my approach.

This was a landmark event in my struggle for improvement. Fanny’s admonition made me aware of the fact that there was an aspect of me I needed to work on. No wonder her words have been ever green in my memory.

Our environment is filled with many adults who still struggle with emotional and communication issues. Regrettably, such issues are difficult, and take a long time to resolve in adults. That’s why parents and teachers should give proper attention to the areas of personal, social and emotional development for children, as well as communication and language.

My experience with children as an early years educator has opened my eyes greatly to how parents and teachers can support the development of children by modelling the proper ways to understand, manage and express emotions. A parent or teacher who uses hurtful words to communicate to children would raise them to also be emotionally unintelligent in their communication with other people.

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• Uchenna N Nduka